He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
