with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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