I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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