What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
