It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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