We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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