my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
