You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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