I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
