im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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