Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
