i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
