Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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