I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
