Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
