I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
