so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
