The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I can't turn off my feet"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
