the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
