The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
