Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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