I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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