No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
