the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
