maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
