i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
