Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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