lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
