We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
