i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i drank out of a bidet.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
