ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
