hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
