I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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