Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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