2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
