Do you still have your period?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
