Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
