How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
