went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
