I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
