Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
