Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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