It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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