I got chris browned last night
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
