Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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