Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
