for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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