If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
