i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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