why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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