She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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